Hey guys,
After seeing a post on Instagram today asking if going back to the point where you got sick, would you stop the thing that started it all, it got me thinking. I got sick after an allergic reaction to some medication and of course if I knew if I would react to it I would not have taken it.
What would have happened if I didn't need that med?
What about if I had just ridden out the pain I was experiencing?
What if I stopped the medication sooner?
All of these possibilities and I'll never know what could have happened if things had turned out differently.
However, and this is the part that really got me thinking, I have learnt a library of things since I got sick. I've learnt things about myself, other people, my body and my strengths, medicine, the human brain, what I want to do with my life, and the list goes on and on. Oh and the people I have met since I got sick are so so wonderful, just the best, medical professionals and other patients/chronic illness warriors that have grown to be some of the most important people in my life. And all of these factors make me think, would I really want to take away that experience?
You see the thing is, I don't believe in a religion but I do believe in fate, I believe that things do happen for a reason and had I not gotten sick from the reaction could something else have happened to cause me to get poorly? I could change one tiny detail but if it was my fate for this to happen then would changing that single detail even matter because surely something else would have caused me to get poorly. Also talking about the people I've met and the things I've learnt, if I hadn't gone through all of these things I would never have met these people and learnt these things.
But being unwell I've also lost so many things, the ability to go to school, use my legs properly, dance, being independent, going out with friends, going for walks, holidays and most importantly a good quality of life. When I got sick I had every dream I had for my future stripped away from me and that really sucks. I no longer have the life of your average 17 year old, I've spent more days in hospital then a lot of adults I know, I've had to endure unimaginable amounts of pain and discomfort and my health has a way of telling me that one thing is getting better and then making another thing worse. This is no life for anyone let alone a young person. The things I'd give to get back to weight lifting in the gym and hanging out with my friends after school. If I could go back in time would I go back to that life?
So you see I'ts a question I'm struggling to fathom because since being sick has opened many opportunities for me, but it has also stripped me of the things that made me who I was. Is there an option to go back to the life I used to have but with the lessons and the people that I have now found? I suppose the question doesn't even require and answer, but the very idea of what I would do has been running around my head like I don't know what since this morning and I felt the urge to come and share it with you all.
I think in conclusion I definitely wouldn't not have taken the medication because it put me through absolute hell, and still is, but I think I would never ever exchange that for the friends I've developed and the lessons I've learnt.
What would you do?
Sorry for rambling on and I hope this post got you thinking a little bit.
Frey Xx
(inspired by @crps_queen on insta)
After seeing a post on Instagram today asking if going back to the point where you got sick, would you stop the thing that started it all, it got me thinking. I got sick after an allergic reaction to some medication and of course if I knew if I would react to it I would not have taken it.
What would have happened if I didn't need that med?
What about if I had just ridden out the pain I was experiencing?
What if I stopped the medication sooner?
All of these possibilities and I'll never know what could have happened if things had turned out differently.
However, and this is the part that really got me thinking, I have learnt a library of things since I got sick. I've learnt things about myself, other people, my body and my strengths, medicine, the human brain, what I want to do with my life, and the list goes on and on. Oh and the people I have met since I got sick are so so wonderful, just the best, medical professionals and other patients/chronic illness warriors that have grown to be some of the most important people in my life. And all of these factors make me think, would I really want to take away that experience?
You see the thing is, I don't believe in a religion but I do believe in fate, I believe that things do happen for a reason and had I not gotten sick from the reaction could something else have happened to cause me to get poorly? I could change one tiny detail but if it was my fate for this to happen then would changing that single detail even matter because surely something else would have caused me to get poorly. Also talking about the people I've met and the things I've learnt, if I hadn't gone through all of these things I would never have met these people and learnt these things.
But being unwell I've also lost so many things, the ability to go to school, use my legs properly, dance, being independent, going out with friends, going for walks, holidays and most importantly a good quality of life. When I got sick I had every dream I had for my future stripped away from me and that really sucks. I no longer have the life of your average 17 year old, I've spent more days in hospital then a lot of adults I know, I've had to endure unimaginable amounts of pain and discomfort and my health has a way of telling me that one thing is getting better and then making another thing worse. This is no life for anyone let alone a young person. The things I'd give to get back to weight lifting in the gym and hanging out with my friends after school. If I could go back in time would I go back to that life?
So you see I'ts a question I'm struggling to fathom because since being sick has opened many opportunities for me, but it has also stripped me of the things that made me who I was. Is there an option to go back to the life I used to have but with the lessons and the people that I have now found? I suppose the question doesn't even require and answer, but the very idea of what I would do has been running around my head like I don't know what since this morning and I felt the urge to come and share it with you all.
I think in conclusion I definitely wouldn't not have taken the medication because it put me through absolute hell, and still is, but I think I would never ever exchange that for the friends I've developed and the lessons I've learnt.
What would you do?
Sorry for rambling on and I hope this post got you thinking a little bit.
Frey Xx
(inspired by @crps_queen on insta)
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